The two of you – November 2017

CRIPES, this blog post has been in my drafts for months. Much like my own photos, somehow the super personal blog posts are the ones that get sidelined. Dairy free milk and hassle free potty training tips always strike me as far more widely appealing topics, but the reality is, it’s this sort of post that I, as a mother, return to again and again to remember what exactly was going on with the kids – Jack, aged 3 years, seven months, and Sonny, one year and five months. They’re also the posts that I find most easy to write (and also why I assume must be less ‘good’ because they require less effort on my part). I think it’s because the words are all floating around my head and heart and it’s once I finally find the time to put finger to keyboard that they all just come flowing out. It’s a real release. Having always kept a diary which I still scribble notes in from time to time, I love documenting what’s going on around me. Because, yes I want to know what they were doing, what they loved saying, what they were eating and what were they were wearing. What were their favourite games, and what pissed them off no end? What was I, as a mum struggling with, and what makes me excited each day? So here goes, November 2017, where we at kiddos?

Summer has been and gone (camping was my highlight), we moved house (which brought with it a new nursery), and I’m back at YouTube three days a week. Jack, let’s start with you. You are literally one of my best mates these days. We chat non stop. Non stop. I look forward to you walking calmly into our bedroom each morning often asking with genuine curiosity, “why are you still in bed?” Nappies are long gone, at night too, though the odd accident does happen which doesn’t matter one jot. You’ve taken to your new nursery ridiculously well, and have already been given the nickname “Jackarooroo.” On the whole you (and your few wooden trains) are 95% amazingly behaved though the other week for some reason, you were really difficult all day and that totally threw me. It really, really upset me. We talked it out and I hope we don’t see that side of you again for a while. I guess you must have been tired, or something. We all have bad days but I shocked myself by how much it affected me. And whenever you do ‘play up’, we always talk it out afterwards when you’re feeling better. I suppose I discipline you broadly using these ‘techniques‘ but now as you’re getting older, and understand everything, we mainly just talk things over when they go wrong. What else? You love singing and making up little jingles. Of late, you’ve also got into rapping with daddy and you enjoy nothing more than helping me cook, always wanting to pull up a stool, climb on top and stir whatever I’m stirring. We grew some vegetables this Summer so you learnt that vegetables come from the ground, and not from the supermarket. You love practising yoga with me and always ask for new poses – balancing is your thing right now. We made pizza from scratch the other week and we’re totally overdue a cake making session soon. Tomorrow’s plan involves laying down newspapers and helping mama pick out pomegranate seeds. You’re still as adaptable as ever and never cease to surprise me with just how well you cope with whatever we throw at you. No lunch til 2.30 pm? No problem. New bedroom? Whatever. Right now I’ve left you in your bedroom watching the fireworks out the window just exclaiming at each colour with Sonny watching on.  You’re smart. Wow, I think you’re smart. The other morning a gardener popped over and you just sat on the doorstep chatting to him for a good half an hour about, I don’t even know. Life, I guess. I left you to it, and the gardener certainly enjoyed the unexpected chat. At the moment, you tell me that you’re favourite things are trains and gazelles and you notice everything said and done around you. “Why did you take your necklace off, mama?” More than anything, you strike me as mature, polite (I am always keen to remind you to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ – I just think this sets kids on a good path in life) and a kid that loves life. I love you so much, Jacky and am so crazy proud of you.

Sonny (Sonster, Sonny bunny, Son bun), you’re now a fully fledged toddler and walk everywhere! You’re trying your absolute best to talk – “bah-bools”, “bot bot” and “nap nap” are among your first words. You are obsessed with bananas – literally, everything can be cured with a “nah nah” and there are times I can’t help it, but I look at you and cannot believe you’re as cute as you are #mamalove. After our time c0-sleeping when you were a baby which I so loved, you’re now a really good sleeper. You went through a phase of not wanting to settle at night a few months back and one day I realised you may have simply felt lonely and that you’d be OK if you were with your best mate. And it seemed to work! It also still makes my heart swell every time I put you both to bed (some tips on how I transitioned them here). You now love going to bed and sleep through the night 9 times out of 10. You won’t go many places without your beloved sheep (Ewan the sheep or ‘ish’) who has turned a slightly grey colour and gets dragged everywhere. You love to play peekaboo and bring your joyful smile and infectious little giggle wherever you go. Like your brother, you are totally content in your own world stacking tupperware and whatever else you find. You love your food but are becoming more discriminate – you did not like the pumpkin mama gave you last night. Neither of you are vegan kids but I’d love for you to be…I’m working on it. You love kicking around a ball and are becoming quite an expert dribbler. Indeed, you’re at the stage – and I remember this well with Jack – where you just want to walk. And walk and walk and walk. Doesn’t matter where, but you are finding your freedom and enjoying every step of the journey. You’re not clingy and just want to explore. You’re outgrowing your oshkosh (sad times) but you and your brother live in other hand me downs and love your new dr martens. You’re learning so quickly just from watching Jack and I’m sure you’ll soon be talking sentences. Again like Jack, you’re awesomely flexible (even more so, considering your age) and need no particular time for meals or sleeps – you just go with us and fit in like nothing I could have ever dreamt of. You’re simply the best Son, and I love you worlds and worlds.

The relationship you two Jack and Sonny have can only be described as ‘brotherly; Jack, you keep an eye out for Sonny when we’re out and about but when we’re home you two play, bicker over trains, share plums and generally just ‘hang’. It’s beautiful to witness. Sleeping in the same bedroom together has undoubtedly brought you closer. I feel like Sonny might be more ‘sporty’ whereas Jack perhaps more ‘arty’ but who knows. Thursdays and Fridays are my days with you both and these are by far my favourite days. We tend to make very few or no plans (#zeroplansdays) and just go with the flow. We have very little routine and spend our days in coffee shops and garden centres and going to the shops. Nothing particularly interesting, but equally it’s the stuff that rocks my world and makes me feel like I am achieving sh*t in life. I love every step of mothering you both (the reusable nappy stuff and incessant scrubbing, not always), and I don’t know why but I *just* don’t enjoy reading bedtime stories (by that point I’m always knackered, who wants to read?! Does that make me a bad mum…?), I have still never learnt more about myself than on this job and am genuinely excited for what lies ahead when I wake up each morning. Thank you both for being, ummm, you. Mama xxx